爱丽丝漫游奇境记-6

the way wherever she wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as thedoubled-up soldiers were always getting up and walking off to other partsof the ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficultgame indeed.The players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarrelling all thewhile, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in a very short time the Queenwas in a furious passion, and went stamping about, and shouting `Off withhis head!' or `Off with her head!' about once in a minute.Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as yet had anydispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might happen any minute,`and then,' thought she, `what would become of me? They're dreadfullyfond of beheading people here; the great wonder is, that there's any oneleft alive!'She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering whether shecould get away without being seen, when she noticed a curious appearancein the air: it puzzled her very much at first, but, after watching it a minuteor two, she made it out to be a grin, and she said to herself `It's theCheshire Cat: now I shall have somebody to talk to.'`How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was mouthenough for it to speak with.Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. `It's no use speakingto it,' she thought, `till its ears have come, or at least one of them.' Inanother minute the whole head appeared, and then Alice put down herflamingo, and began an account of the game, feeling very glad she hadsomeone to listen to her. The Cat seemed to think that there was enough ofit now in sight, and no more of it appeared.`I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rather a complainingtone, `and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear oneself speak--andthey don't seem to have any rules in particular; at least, if there are,nobody attends to them--and you've no idea how confusing it is all thethings being alive; for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through nextwalking about at the other end of the ground--and I should have croquetedthe Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it saw minecoming!'`How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice.`Not at all,' said Alice: `she's so extremely--' Just then she noticed that theQueen was close behind her, listening: so she went on, `--likely to win, thatit's hardly worth while finishing the game.'The Queen smiled and passed on.`Who ARE you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, and looking atthe Cat's head with great curiosity.`It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: `allow me to introduce it.'`I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: `however, it may kiss myhand if it likes.'`I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked.`Don't be impertinent,' said the King, `and don't look at me like that!' Hegot behind Alice as he spoke.`A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. `I've read that in some book, but Idon't remember where.'`Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and he called theQueen, who was passing at the moment, `My dear! I wish you would havethis cat removed!'The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. `Offwith his head!' she said, without even looking round.`I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, and he hurried off.Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game was goingon, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance, screaming with passion.She had already heard her sentence three of the players to be executed forhaving missed their turns, and she did not like the look of things at all, asthe game was in such confusion that she never knew whether it was herturn or not. So she went in search of her hedgehog.The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog, whichseemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them withthe other: the only difficulty was, that her flamingo was gone across to theother side of the garden, where Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort ofway to fly up into a tree.By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back, the fight wasover, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight: `but it doesn't mattermuch,' thought Alice, `as all the arches are gone from this side of theground.' So she tucked it away under her arm, that it might not escapeagain, and went back for a little more conversation with her friend.When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to find quite alarge crowd collected round it: there was a dispute going on between theexecutioner, the King, and the Queen, who were all talking at once, whileall the rest were quite silent, and looked very uncomfortable.The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to settle thequestion, and they repeated their arguments to her, though, as they allspoke at once, she found it very hard indeed to make out exactly what theysaid.The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a head unlessthere was a body to cut it off from: that he had never had to do such athing before, and he wasn't going to begin at HIS time of life.The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could bebeheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense.The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about it in lessthan no time she'd have everybody executed, all round. (It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so grave and anxious.)Alice could think of nothing else to say but `It belongs to the Duchess:you'd better ask HER about it.'`She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: `fetchher here.' And the executioner went off like an arrow.The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and, by thetime he had come back with the Dutchess, it had entirely disappeared; sothe King and the executioner ran wildly up and down looking for it, whilethe rest of the party went back to the game.CHAPTER IX The Mock Turtle's Story`You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old thing!' saidthe Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice's, and theywalked off together.Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and thought toherself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had made her so savagewhen they met in the kitchen.`When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a very hopeful tonethough), `I won't have any pepper in my kitchen AT ALL. Soup does verywell without--Maybe it's always pepper that makes people hot-tempered,'she went on, very much pleased at having found out a new kind of rule,`and vinegar that makes them sour--and camomile that makes thembitter--and--and barley-sugar and such things that make children sweet-tempered. I only wish people knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingyabout it, you know--'She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a little startledwhen she heard her voice close to her ear. `You're thinking aboutsomething, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk. I can't tell you justnow what the moral of that is, but I shall remember it in a bit.'`Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark.`Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. `Everything's got a moral, if only you canfind it.' And she squeezed herself up closer to Alice's side as she spoke.Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first, because the Duchesswas VERY ugly; and secondly, because she was exactly the right height torest her chin upon Alice's shoulder, and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin.However, she did not like to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could.`The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of keeping upthe conversation a little.`'Tis so,' said the Duchess: `and the moral of that is--"Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love,that makes the world go round!"'`Somebody said,' Alice whispered, `that it's done by everybody mindingtheir own business!'`Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess, digging hersharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added, `and the moral of THATis--"Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of themselves."'`How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought to herself.`I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your waist,' theDuchess said after a pause: `the reason is, that I'm doubtful about thetemper of your flamingo. Shall I try the experiment?'`HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at all anxious to havethe experiment tried.`Very true,' said the Duchess: `flamingoes and mustard both bite. And themoral of that is--"Birds of a feather flock together."'`Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked.`Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: `what a clear way you have of puttingthings!'`It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice.`Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree toeverything that Alice said; `there's a large mustard-mine near here. Andthe moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, the less there is of yours."'`Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this last remark,`it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it is.'`I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; `and the moral of that is--"Bewhat you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put more simply--"Neverimagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to othersthat what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what youhad been would have appeared to them to be otherwise."'`I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very politely, `if I had itwritten down: but I can't quite follow it as you say it.'`That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess replied, in apleased tone.`Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,' said Alice.`Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. `I make you a present ofeverything I've said as yet.'`A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. `I'm glad they don't give birthdaypresents like that!' But she did not venture to say it out loud.`Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her sharp littlechin.`I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was beginning to feel alittle worried.`Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, `as pigs have to fly; and them--'But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died away, even inthe middle of her favourite word `moral,' and the arm that was linked intohers began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood the Queen in frontof them, with her arms folded, frowning like a thunderstorm.`A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak voice.`Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on the groundas she spoke; `either you or your head must be off, and that in about halfno time! Take your choice!'The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.`Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alice was toomuch frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her back to thecroquet-ground.The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence, and wereresting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, they hurried backto the game, the Queen merely remarking that a moment's delay wouldcost them their lives.All the time they were playing the Queen never left off quarrelling with theother players, and shouting `Off with his head!' or `Off with her head!'Those whom she sentenced were taken into custody by the soldiers, who ofcourse had to leave off being arches to do this, so that by the end of halfan hour or so there were no arches left, and all the players, except theKing, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence ofexecution.Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to Alice, `Have youseen the Mock Turtle yet?'`No,' said Alice. `I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.'`It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen.`I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice.`Come on, then,' said the Queen, `and he shall tell you his history,'As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low voice, to thecompany generally, `You are all pardoned.' `Come, THAT'S a good thing!'she said to herself, for she had felt quite unhappy at the number ofexecutions the Queen had ordered.They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun. (IF youdon't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) `Up, lazy thing!' said theQueen, `and take this young lady to see the Mock Turtle, and to hear hishistory. I must go back and see after some executions I have ordered'; andshe walked off, leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite likethe look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it would be quite assafe to stay with it as to go after that savage Queen: so she waited.The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the Queen till shewas out of sight: then it chuckled. `What fun!' said the Gryphon, half toitself, half to Alice.`What IS the fun?' said Alice.`Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon. `It's all her fancy, that: they never executesnobody, you know. Come on!'`Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went slowly afterit: `I never was so ordered about in all my life, never!'They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance,sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart would break. She pitied himdeeply. `What is his sorrow?' she asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphonanswered, very nearly in the same words as before, `It's all his fancy, that:he hasn't got no sorrow, you know. Come on!'So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large eyes fullof tears, but said nothing.`This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, `she wants for to know yourhistory, she do.'`I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: `sit down, bothof you, and don't speak a word till I've finished.'So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice thought toherself, `I don't see how he can EVEN finish, if he doesn't begin.' But shewaited patiently.`Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, `I was a real Turtle.'These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by anoccasional exclamation of `Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and the constantheavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very nearly getting up andsaying, `Thank you, sir, for your interesting story,' but she could not helpthinking there MUST be more to come, so she sat still and said nothing.`When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, thoughstill sobbing a little now and then, `we went to school in the sea. Themaster was an old Turtle--we used to call him Tortoise--'`Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked.`We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock Turtleangrily: `really you are very dull!'`You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question,'added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice,who felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the Gryphon said to the MockTurtle, `Drive on, old fellow! Don't be all day about it!' and he went on inthese words:`Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe it--'`I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice.`You did,' said the Mock Turtle.`Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak again.The Mock Turtle went on.`We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school every day--'`I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; `you needn't be so proud as allthat.'`With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.`Yes,' said Alice, `we learned French and music.'`And washing?' said the Mock Turtle.`Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.`Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock Turtle in a toneof great relief. `Now at OURS they had at the end of the bill, "French,music, AND WASHING--extra."'`You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; `living at the bottom of thesea.'`I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. `I only tookthe regular course.'