少年维特之烦恼(英文版)-8

As he now never enjoyed internal peace， the condition of his fellowcreatures was to him a perpetual source of trouble and distress. He believedhe had disturbed the happiness of Albert and his wife ； and， whilsthe censured himself strongly for this ， he began to entertain a secretdislike to Albert.　　His thoughts were occasionally directed to this point. "Yes ，" hewould repeat to himself ， with ill-concealed dissatisfaction ， "yes ，this is ， after all， the extent of that confiding ， dear ， tender ，and sympathetic love， that calm and eternal fidelity ！ What do I beholdbut satiety and indifference？ Does not every frivolous engagement attracthim more than his charming and lovely wife？ Does he know how to prizehis happiness ？ Can he value her as she deserves ？ He possesses her ，it is true， I know that， as I know much more， and I have become accustomedto the thought that he will drive me mad， or ， perhaps， murder me.Is his friendship toward me unimpaired？ Does he not view my attachmentto Charlotte as an infringement upon his rights ， and consider my attentionto her as a silent rebuke to himself？ I know ， and indeed feel， thathe dislikes me， that he wishes for my absence， that my presence is hatefulto him."　　He would often pause when on his way to visit Charlotte ， stand still，as though in doubt， and seem desirous of returning ， but would neverthelessproceed ； and， engaged in such thoughts and soliloquies as we have described，he finally reached the hunting-lodge， with a sort of involuntary consent.　　Upon one occasion he entered the house； and， inquiring for Charlotte，he observed that the inmates were in a state of unusual confusion. Theeldest boy informed him that a dreadful misfortune had occurred at Walheim，—— that a peasant had been murdered ！ But this made little impressionupon him. Entering the apartment， he found Charlotte engaged reasoningwith her father ， who， in spite of his infirmity， insisted on goingto the scene of the crime ， in order to institute an inquiry. The criminalwas unknown ； the victim had been found dead at his own door that morning.Suspicions were excited ： the murdered man had been in the service ofa widow ， and the person who had previously filled the situation hadbeen dismissed from her employment.　　As soon as Werther heard this ， he exclaimed with great excitement，"Is it possible ！ I must go to the spot—— I cannot delay a moment！" He hastened to Walheim. Every incident returned vividly to his remembrance； and he entertained not the slightest doubt that that man was the murdererto whom he had so often spoken， and for whom he entertained so much regard.His way took him past the well-known lime trees ， to the house wherethe body had been carried ； and his feelings were greatly excited atthe sight of the fondly recollected spot. That threshold where the neighbours'children had so often played together was stained with blood； love andattachment， the noblest feelings of human nature ， had been convertedinto violence and murder. The huge trees stood there leafless and coveredwith hoarfrost； the beautiful hedgerows which surrounded the old churchyardwall were withered； and the gravestones， half covered with snow ， werevisible through the openings.　　As he approached the inn， in front of which the whole village wasassembled ， screams were suddenly heard. A troop of armed peasants wasseen approaching， and every one exclaimed that the criminal had beenapprehended. Werther looked ， and was not long in doubt. The prisonerwas no other than the servant ， who had been formerly so attached tothe widow ， and whom he had met prowling about ， with that suppressedanger and ill-concealed despair ， which we have before described.　　"What have you done ， unfortunate man？" inquired Werther， as headvanced toward the prisoner. The latter turned his eyes upon him in silence，and then replied with perfect composure ； "No one will now marry her ，and she will marry no one." The prisoner was taken into the inn ， andWerther left the place. The mind of Werther was fearfully excited by thisshocking occurrence. He ceased， however， to be oppressed by his usualfeeling of melancholy ， moroseness ， and indifference to everythingthat passed around him. He entertained a strong degree of pity for theprisoner， and was seized with an indescribable anxiety to save him fromhis impending fate. He considered him so unfortunate， he deemed his crimeso excusable， and thought his own condition so nearly similar， thathe felt convinced he could make every one else view the matter in thelight in which he saw it himself. He now became anxious to undertake hisdefence ， and commenced composing an eloquent speech for the occasion； and， on his way to the hunting-lodge， he could not refrain from speakingaloud the statement which he resolved to make to the judge.　　Upon his arrival， he found Albert had been before him： and he wasa little perplexed by this meeting； but he soon recovered himself， andexpressed his opinion with much warmth to the judge. The latter shook ，his head doubtingly ； and although Werther urged his case with the utmostzeal， feeling， and determination in defence of his client ， yet， aswe may easily suppose ， the judge was not much influenced by his appeal.On the contrary ， he interrupted him in his address， reasoned with himseriously ， and even administered a rebuke to him for becoming the advocateof a murderer. He demonstrated， that ， according to this precedent，every law might be violated ， and the public security utterly destroyed.He added， moreover ， that in such a case he could himself do nothing，without incurring the greatest responsibility ； that everything mustfollow in the usual course， and pursue the ordinary channel.　　Werther ， however， did not abandon his enterprise ， and even besoughtthe judge to connive at the flight of the prisoner. But this proposalwas peremptorily rejected. Albert ， who had taken some part in the discussion，coincided in opinion with the judge. At this Werther became enraged ，and took his leave in great anger ， after the judge had more than onceassured him that the prisoner could not be saved.　　The excess of his grief at this assurance may be inferred from a notewe have found amongst his papers， and which was doubtless written uponthis very occasion.　　"You cannot be saved， unfortunate man！ I see clearly that we cannotbe saved！"　　Werther was highly incensed at the observations which Albert had madeto the judge in this matter of the prisoner. He thought he could detecttherein a little bitterness toward himself personally ； and although ，upon reflection ， it could not escape his sound judgment that their viewof the matter was correct ， he felt the greatest possible reluctanceto make such an admission.　　A memorandum of Werther's upon this point ， expressive of his generalfeelings toward Albert， has been found amongst his papers.　　"What is the use of my continually repeating that he is a good andestimable man ？ He is an inward torment to me， and I am incapable ofbeing just toward him."　　One fine evening in winter， when the weather seemed inclined to thaw，Charlotte and Albert were returning home together. The former looked fromtime to time about her， as if she missed Werther's company. Albert beganto speak of him ， and censured him for his prejudices. He alluded tohis unfortunate attachment， and wished it were possible to discontinuehis acquaintance. "I desire it on our own account ，" he added； "andI request you will compel him to alter his deportment toward you， andto visit you less frequently. The world is censorious ， and I know thathere and there we are spoken of." Charlotte made no reply ， and Albertseemed to feel her silence. At least， from that time he never again spokeof Werther； and， when she introduced the subject， he allowed the conversationto die away ， or else he directed the discourse into another channel.　　The vain attempt Werther had made to save the unhappy murderer wasthe last feeble glimmering of a flame about to be extinguished. He sankalmost immediately afterward into a state of gloom and inactivity ， untilhe was at length brought to perfect distraction by learning that he wasto be summoned as a witness against the prisoner， who asserted his completeinnocence.　　His mind now became oppressed by the recollection of every misfortuneof his past life. The mortification he had suffered at the ambassador's，and his subsequent troubles ， were revived in his memory. He became utterlyinactive. Destitute of energy ， he was cut off from every pursuit andoccupation which compose the business of common life； and he became avictim to his own susceptibility， and to his restless passion for themost amiable and beloved of women ， whose peace he destroyed. In thisunvarying monotony of existence his days were consumed； and his powersbecame exhausted without aim or design， until they brought him to a sorrowfulend.　　A few letters which he left behind， and which we here subjoin， affordthe best proofs of his anxiety of mind and of the depth of his passion，as well as of his doubts and struggles， and of his weariness of life.　　DECEMBER 12. Dear Wilhelm ， I am reduced to the condition of thoseunfortunate wretches who believe they are pursued by an evil spirit. SometimesI am oppressed， not by apprehension or fear， but by an inexpressibleinternal sensation， which weighs upon my heart ， and impedes my breath！Then I wander forth at night， even in this tempestuous season， and feelpleasure in surveying the dreadful scenes around me.　　Yesterday evening I went forth. A rapid thaw had suddenly set in：I had been informed that the river had risen， that the brooks had alloverflowed their banks， and that the whole vale of Walheim was underwater ！ Upon the stroke of twelve I hastened forth. I beheld a fearfulsight. The foaming torrents rolled from the mountains in the moonlight，—— fields and meadows ， trees and hedges ， were confounded together； and the entire valley was converted into a deep lake ， which was agitatedby the roaring wind ！ And when the moon shone forth， and tinged theblack clouds with silver， and the impetuous torrent at my feet foamedand resounded with awful and grand impetuosity， I was overcome by a mingledsensation of apprehension and delight. With extended arms I looked downinto the yawning abyss， and cried， "Plunge！'" For a moment my sensesforsook me， in the intense delight of ending my sorrows and my sufferingsby a plunge into that gulf！ And then I felt as if I were rooted to theearth ， and incapable of seeking an end to my woes ！ But my hour isnot yet come： I feel it is not. O Wilhelm， how willingly could I abandonmy existence to ride the whirlwind， or to embrace the torrent！ and thenmight not rapture perchance be the portion of this liberated soul ？　　I turned my sorrowful eyes toward a favourite spot， where I was accustomedto sit with Charlotte beneath a willow after a fatiguing walk. Alas ！it was covered with water ， and with difficulty I found even the meadow.And the fields around the hunting-lodge ， thought I. Has our dear bowerbeen destroyed by this unpitying storm？ And a beam of past happinessstreamed upon me， as the mind of a captive is illumined by dreams offlocks and herds and bygone joys of home！ But I am free from blame. Ihave courage to die ！ Perhaps I have ，—— but I still sit here ， likea wretched pauper ， who collects fagots， and begs her bread from doorto door ， that she may prolong for a few days a miserable existence whichshe is unwilling to resign.　　DECEMBER 15. What is the matter with me ， dear Wilhelm ？ I am afraidof myself ！ Is not my love for her of the purest ， most holy， and mostbrotherly nature？ Has my soul ever been sullied by a single sensual desire？but I will make no protestations. And now ， ye nightly visions ， howtruly have those mortals understood you ， who ascribe your various contradictoryeffects to some invincible power！ This night I tremble at the avowal—— I held her in my arms， locked in a close embrace： I pressed herto my bosom ， and covered with countless kisses those dear lips whichmurmured in reply soft protestations of love. My sight became confusedby the delicious intoxication of her eyes. Heavens！ is it sinful to revelagain in such happiness ， to recall once more those rapturous momentswith intense delight？ Charlotte！ Charlotte！ I am lost！ My senses arebewildered， my recollection is confused， mine eyes are bathed in tears—— I am ill ； and yet I am well—— I wish for nothing —— I haveno desires—— it were better I were gone.　　Under the circumstances narrated above， a determination to quit thisworld had now taken fixed possession of Werther's soul. Since Charlotte'sreturn， this thought had been the final object of all his hopes and wishes； but he had resolved that such a step should not be taken with precipitation，but with calmness and tranquillity， and with the most perfect deliberation.　　His troubles and internal struggles may be understood from the followingfragment， which was found， without any date ， amongst his papers ，and appears to have formed the beginning of a letter to Wilhelm.　　"Her presence ， her fate ， her sympathy for me， have power stillto extract tears from my withered brain.　　"One lifts up the curtain ， and passes to the other side ，—— thatis all！ And why all these doubts and delays？ Because we know not whatis behind —— because there is no returning—— and because our mindinfers that all is darkness and confusion ， where we have nothing butuncertainty."　　His appearance at length became quite altered by the effect of hismelancholy thoughts ； and his resolution was now finally and irrevocablytaken ， of which the following ambiguous letter， which he addressedto his friend ， may appear to afford some proof.　　DECEMBER 2O. I am grateful to your love ， Wilhelm， for having repeatedyour advice so seasonably. Yes， you are right： it is undoubtedly betterthat I should depart. But I do not entirely approve your scheme of returningat once to your neighbourhood ； at least ， I should Iike to make a littleexcursion on the way， particularly as we may now expect a continued frost，and consequently good roads. I am much pleased with your intention ofcoming to fetch me； only delay your journey for a fortnight， and waitfor another letter from me. One should gather nothing before it is ripe，and a fortnight sooner or later makes a great difference. Entreat my motherto pray for her son ， and tell her I beg her pardon for all the unhappinessI have occasioned her. It has ever been my fate to give pain to thosewhose happiness I should have promoted. Adieu ， my dearest friend. Mayevery blessing of Heaven attend you ！ Farewell.　　We find it difficult to express the emotions with which Charlotte'ssoul was agitated during the whole of this time ， whether in relationto her husband or to her unfortunate friend ； although we are enabled，by our knowledge of her character ， to understand their nature.　　It is certain that she had formed a determination ， by every meansin her power to keep Werther at a distance； and， if she hesitated inher decision， it was from a sincere feeling of friendly pity ， knowinghow much it would cost him， indeed ， that he would find it almost impossibleto comply with her wishes. But various causes now urged her to be firm.Her hushand preserved a strict silence about the whole matter ； and shenever made it a subject of conversation ， feeling bound to prove to himby her conduct that her sentiments agreed with his.　　The same day， which was the Sunday before Christmas， after Wertherhad written the last-mentioned letter to his friend ， he came in theevening to Charlotte's house， and found her alone. She was busy preparingsome little gifts for her brothers and sisters， which were to be distributedto them on Christmas Day. He began talking of the delight of the children，and of that age when the sudden appearance of the Christmas-tree， decoratedwith fruit and sweetmeats ， and lighted up with wax candles， causessuch transports of joy. "You shall have a gift too， if you behave well，" said Charlotte ， hiding her embarrassment under sweet smile. "Andwhat do you call behaving well？ What should I do ， what can I do， mydear Charlotte？" said he. "Thursday night，" she answered， "is ChristmasEve. The children are all to be here， and my father too： there is apresent for each； do you come likewise ， but do not come before thattime." Werther started. "I desire you will not： it must be so，" shecontinued. "I ask it of you as a favour ， for my own peace and tranquillity.We cannot go on in this manner any longer." He turned away his face walkedhastily up and down the room， muttering indistinctly ， "We cannot goon in this manner any longer！" Charlotte ， seeing the violent agitationinto which these words had thrown him ， endeavoured to divert his thoughtsby different questions， but in vain. "No ， Charlotte！" he exclaimed； "I will never see you any more ！" "And why so ？" she answered. "Wemay —— we must see each other again ； only let it be with more discretion.Oh！ why were you born with that excessive， that ungovernable passionfor everything that is dear to you？" Then， taking his hand， she said，"I entreat of you to be more calm ： your talents ， your understanding，your genius ， will furnish you with a thousand resources. Be a man ，and conquer an unhappy attachment toward a creature who can do nothingbut pity you." He bit his lips， and looked at her with a gloomy countenance.She continued to hold his hand. "Grant me but a moment's patience ， Werther，" she said. "Do you not see that you are deceiving yourself ， that youare seeking your own destruction？ Why must you love me ， me only， whobelong to another ？ I fear ， I much fear， that it is only the impossibilityof possessing me which makes your desire for me so strong." He drew backhis hand， whilst he surveyed her with a wild and angry look. "'Tis well！" he exclaimed， "'tis very well！ Did not Albert furnish you with thisreflection？ It is profound ， a very profound remark." "A reflectionthat any one might easily make，" she answered； "and is there not a womanin the whole world who is at liberty， and has the power to make you happy？Conquer yourself： look for such a being， and believe me when I say thatyou will certainly find her. I have long felt for you ， and for us all： you have confined yourself too long within the limits of too narrowa circle. Conquer yourself； make an effort ： a short journey will beof service to you. Seek and find an object worthy of your love； thenreturn hither ， and let us enjoy together all the happiness of the mostperfect friendship."　　"This speech，" replied Werther with a cold smile ， "this speechshould be printed ， for the benefit of all teachers. My dear Charlotte，allow me but a short time longer， and all will be well." "But however，Werther ，" she added ， "do not come again before Christmas." He wasabout to make some answer ， when Albert came in. They saluted each othercoldly， and with mutual embarrassment paced up and down the room. Werthermade some common remarks； Albert did the same， and their conversationsoon dropped. Albert asked his wife about some household matters； and，finding that his commissions were not executed， he used some expressionswhich ， to Werther's ear ， savoured of extreme harshness. He wishedto go ， but had not power to move； and in this situation he remainedtill eight o'clock， his uneasiness and discontent continually increasing.At length the cloth was laid for supper ， and he took up his hat andstick. Albert invited him to remain ； but Werther， fancying that hewas merely paying a formal compliment ， thanked him coldly ， amd leftthe house.　　Werther returned home ， took the candle from his servant ， and retiredto his room alone. He talked for some time with great earnestness to himself，wept aloud， walked in a state of great excitement through his chamber； till at length ， without undressing ， he threw himself on the bed，where he was found by his servant at eleven o'clock ， when the latterventured to enter the room， and take off his boots. Werther did not preventhim ， but forbade him to come in the morning till he should ring.　　On Monday morning ， the 21st of December ， he wrote to Charlottethe following letter， which was found， sealed ， on his bureau afterhis death ， and was given to her. I shall insert it in fragments ； asit appears， from several circumstances ， to have been written in thatmanner.　　"It is all over ， Charlotte： I am resolved to die ！ I make thisdeclaration deliberately and coolly ， without any romantic passion ，on this morning of the day when I am to see you for the last time. Atthe moment you read these lines ， O best of women， the cold grave willhold the inanimate remains of that restless and unhappy being who ， inthe last moments of his existence ， knew no pleasure so great as thatof conversing with you！ I have passed a dreadful night or rather ， letme say， a propitious one ； for it has given me resolution ， it hasfixed my purpose. I am resolved to die. When I tore myself from you yesterday，my senses were in tumult and disorder ； my heart was oppressed ， hopeand pleasure had fled from me for ever， and a petrifying cold had seizedmy wretched being. I could scarcely reach my room. I threw myself on myknees ； and Heaven ， for the last time， granted me the consolationof shedding tears. A thousand ideas ， a thousand schemes ， arose withinmy soul ； till at length one last， fixed， final thought took possessionof my heart. It was to die. I lay down to rest； and in the morning ，in the quiet hour of awakening， the same determination was upon me. Todie ！ It is not despair： it is conviction that I have filled up themeasure of my sufferings， that I have reached my appointed term， andmust sacrifice myself for thee. Yes ， Charlotte， why should I not avowit？ One of us three must die ： it shall be Werther. O beloved Charlotte！this heart， excited by rage and fury ， has often conceived the horrididea of murdering your husband—— you—— myself ！ The lot is cast atlength. And in the bright ， quiet evenings of summer ， when you sometimeswander toward the mountains ， let your thoughts then turn to me： recollecthow often you have watched me coming to meet you from the valley； thenbend your eyes upon the churchyard which contains my grave， and， bythe light of the setting sun， mark how the evening breeze waves the tallgrass which grows above my tomb. I was calm when I began this letter，but the recollection of these scenes makes me weep like a child." Aboutten in the morning， Werther called his servant ， and， whilst he wasdressing， told him that in a few days he intended to set out upon a journey，and bade him therefore lay his clothes in order ， and prepare them forpacking up， call in all his accounts ， fetch home the books he had lent，and give two months' pay to the poor dependants who were accustomed toreceive from him a weekly allowance.　　He breakfasted in his room， and then mounted his horse ， and wentto visit the steward， who， however， was not at home. He walked pensivelyin the garden ， and seemed anxious to renew all the ideas that were mostpainful to him.　　The children did not suffer him to remain alone long. They followedhim ， skipping and dancing before him， and told him ， that after to-morrowand tomorrow and one day more ， they were to receive their Christmasgift from Charlotte ； and they then recounted all the wonders of whichthey had formed ideas in their child imaginations. "Tomorrow and tomorrow，" said he ， "and one day more！" And he kissed them tenderly. He wasgoing ； but the younger boy stopped him， to whisper something in hisear. He told him that his elder brothers had written splendid New-Year'swishes so large ！ one for papa ， and another for Albert and Charlotte，and one for Werther ； and they were to be presented early in the morning，on New Year's Day. This quite overcame him. He made each of the childrena present ， mounted his horse， left his compliments for papa and mamma，and ， with tears in his eyes ， rode away from the place.　　He returned home about five o'clock ， ordered his servant to keepup his fire ， desired him to pack his books and linen at the bottom ofthe trunk ， and to place his coats at the top. He then appears to havemade the following addition to the letter addressed to Charlotte：　　"You do not expect me. You think I will obey you， and not visit you