dancing on the black water, far out in the bay. The image made no sense, and I wondered how conscious I really was. My head swirled with the memory of the black, churning water—of being so lost that I couldn't find up or down. So lost… but somehow Jacob… "How did you find me?" I rasped. "I was searching for you," he told me. He was half-jogging through the rain, up the beach toward the road. "I followed the tire tracks to your truck, and then I heard you scream…" He shuddered. "Why would you jump, Bella? Didn't you notice that it's turning into a hurricane out here? Couldn't you have waited for me?" Anger filled his tone as the relief faded. "Sorry," I muttered. "It was stupid." "Yeah, it was really stupid," he agreed, drops of rain shaking free of his hair as he nodded. "Look, do you mind saving the stupid stuff for when I'm around? I won't be able to concentrate if I think you're jumping off cliffs behind my back." "Sure," I agreed. "No problem." I sounded like a chain-smoker. I tried to clear my throat—and then winced; the throat-clearing felt like stabbing a knife down there. "What happened today? Did you… find her?" It was my turn to shudder, though I wasn't so cold here, right next to his ridiculous body heat. Jacob shook his head. He was still more running than walking as he headed up the road to his house. "No. She took off into the water—the bloodsuckers have the advantage there. That's why I raced home—I was afraid she was going to double back swimming. You spend so much time on the beach…" He trailed off, a catch in his throat. "Sam came back with you… is everyone else home, too?" I hoped they weren't still out searching for her. "Yeah. Sort of." I tried to read his expression, squinting into the hammering rain. His eyes were tight with worry or pain. The words that hadn't made sense before suddenly did. "You said… hospital. Before, to Sam. Is someone hurt? Did she fight you?" My voice jumped up an octave, sounding strange with the hoarseness. "No, no. When we got back, Em was waiting with the news. It's Harry Clearwater. Harry had a heart attack this morning." "Harry?" I shook my head, trying to absorb what he was staying. "Oh, no! Does Charlie know?" "Yeah. He's over there, too, with my dad." "Is Harry going to be okay?" Jacob's eyes tightened again. "It doesn't look so great right now." Abruptly, I felt really sick with guilt—felt truly horrible about the brainless cliff dive. Nobody needed to be worrying about me right now. What a stupid time to be reckless. "What can I do?" I asked. At that moment the rain stopped. I hadn't realized we were already back to Jacob's house until he walked through the door. The storm pounded against the roof. "You can stay here," Jacob said as he dumped me on the short couch. "I mean it—right here I'll get you some dry clothes." I let my eyes adjust to the dark room while Jacob banged around in his bedroom. The cramped front room seemed so empty without Billy, almost desolate. It was strangely ominous—probably just because I knew where he was. Jacob was back in seconds. He threw a pile of gray cotton at me. "These will be huge on you, but it's the best I've got. I'll, er, step outside so you can change." "Don't go anywhere. I'm too tired to move yet. Just stay with me." Jacob sat on the floor next to me, his back against the couch. I wondered when he'd slept last. He looked as exhausted as I felt. He leaned his head on the cushion next to mine and yawned. "Guess I could rest for a minute…" His eyes closed. I let mine slide shut, too. Poor Harry. Poor Sue. I knew Charlie was going to be beside himself. Harry was one of his best friends. Despite Jake's negative take on things, I hoped fervently that Harry would pull through. For Charlie's sake. For Sue's and Leah's and Seth's… Billy's sofa was right next to the radiator, and I was warm now, despite my soaked clothes. My lungs ached in a way that pushed me toward unconsciousness rather than keeping me awake. I wondered vaguely if it was wrong to sleep… or was I getting drowning mixed up with concussions… ? Jacob began softly snoring, and the sound of it soothed like a lullaby. I fell asleep quickly. For the first time in a very long time, my dream was just a normal dream. Just a blurred wandering through old memories—blinding bright visions of the Phoenix sun, my mother's face, a ramshackle tree house, a faded quilt, a wall of mirrors, a flame on the black water… I forgot each of them as soon as the picture changed. The last picture was the only one that stuck in my head. It was meaningless—just a set on a stage. A balcony at night, a painted moon hanging in the sky. I watched the girl in her nightdress lean on the railing and talk to herself. Meaningless… but when I slowly struggled back to consciousness, Juliet was on my mind. Jacob was still asleep; he'd slumped down to the floor and his breathing was deep and even. The house was darker now than before, it was black outside the window. I was stiff, but warm and almost dry. The inside of my throat burned with every breath I took. I was going to have to get up—at least to get a drink. But my body just wanted tc he here limp, to never move again. Instead of moving, I thought about Juliet some more. I wondered what she would have done if Romeo had left her, not because he was banished, but because he lost interests What if Rosalind had given him the time of day, and he'd changed his mind? What if, instead of marrying Juliet, he'd just disappeared? I thought I knew how Juliet would feel. She wouldn't go back to her old life, not really. She wouldn't ever have moved on, I was sure of that. Even if she'd lived until she was old and gray, every time she closed her eyes, it would have been Romeo's face she saw behind her lids. She would have accepted that, eventually. I wondered if she would have married Paris in the end, just to please her parents, to keep the peace. No, probably not, I decided. But then, the story didn't say much about Paris. He was just a stick figure—a placeholder, a threat, a deadline to force her hand. What if there were more to Paris? What if Paris had been Juliet's friend? Her very best friend? What if he was the only one she could confide in about the whole devastating thing with Romeo? The one person who really understood her and made her feel halfway human again? What if he was patient and kind? What if he took care of her? What if Juliet knew she couldn't survive without him? What if he really loved her, and wanted her to be happy? And… what if she loved Paris? Not like Romeo. Nothing like that, of course. But enough that she wanted him to be happy, too? Jacob's slow, deep breathing was the only sound in the room—like a lullaby hummed to a child, like the whisper of a rocking chair, like the ticking of an old clock when you had nowhere you needed to go…It was the sound of comfort. If Romeo was really gone, never coming back, would it have mattered whether or not Juliet had taken Paris up on his offer? Maybe she should have tried to settle into the leftover scraps of life that were left behind. Maybe that would have been as close to happiness as she could get. I sighed, and then groaned when the sigh scraped my throat. I was reading too much into the story. Romeo wouldn't change his mind. That's why people still remembered his name, always twined with hers: Romeo and Juliet. That's why it was a good story. "Juliet gets dumped and ends up with Paris" would have never been a hit. I closed my eyes and drifted again, letting my mind wander away from the stupid play I didn't want to think about anymore. I thought about reality instead—about jumping off the cliff and what a brainless mistake that had been. And not just the cliff, but the motorcycles and the whole irresponsible Evel Knievel bit. What if something bad happened to me? What would that do to Charlie? Harry's heart attack had pushed everything suddenly into perspective for me. Perspective that I didn't want to see, because—if I admitted to the truth of it—it would mean that I would have to change my ways. Could I live like that? Maybe. It wouldn't be easy; in fact, it would be downright miserable to give up my hallucinations and try to be a grown-up. But maybe I should do it. And maybe I could. If I had Jacob. I couldn't make that decision right now. It hurt too much. I'd think about something else. Images from my ill-considered afternoon stunt rolled through my head while I tried to come up with something pleasant to think about… the feel of the air as I fell, the blackness of the water, the thrashing of the current… Edward's face… I lingered there for a long time. Jacob's warm hands, trying to beat life back into me… the stinging rain flung down by the purple clouds… the strange fire on the waves… There was something familiar about that flash of color on top of the water. Of course it couldn't really be fire— My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car squelching through the mud on the road outside. I heard it stop in front of the house, and doors started opening and closing. I thought about sitting up, and then decided against that idea. Billy's voice was easily identifiable, but he kept it uncharacteristically low, so that it was only a gravelly grumble. The door opened, and the light flicked on. I blinked, momentarily blind. Jake startled awake, gasping and jumping to his feet. "Sorry," Billy grunted. "Did we wake you?" My eyes slowly focused on his face, and then, as I could read his expression, they filled with tears. "Oh, no, Billy!" I moaned. He nodded slowly, his expression hard with grief. Jake hurried to his father and took one of his hands. The pain made his face suddenly childlike—it looked odd on top of the man's body. Sam was right behind Billy, pushing his chair through the door. His normal composure was absent from his agonized face. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. Billy nodded. "It's gonna be hard all around." "Where's Charlie?" "Your dad is still at the hospital with Sue. There are a lot of… arrangements to be made." I swallowed hard. "I'd better get back there," Sam mumbled, and he ducked hastily out the door. Billy pulled his hand away from Jacob, and then he rolled himself through the kitchen toward his room. Jake stared after him for a minute, then came to sit on the floor beside me again. He put his face in his hands. I rubbed his shoulder, wishing I could think of anything to say. After a long moment, Jacob caught my hand and held it to his face. "How are you feeling? Are you okay? I probably should have taken you to a doctor or something." He sighed. "Don't worry about me," I croaked. He twisted his head to look at me. His eyes were rimmed in red. "You don't look so good." "I don't feel so good, either, I guess." "I'll go get your truck and then take you home—you probably ought to be there when Charlie gets back." "Right." I lay listlessly on the sofa while I waited for him. Billy was silent in the other room. I felt like a peeping torn, peering through the cracks at a private sorrow that wasn't mine. It didn't take Jake long. The roar of my truck's engine broke the silence before I expected it. He helped me up from the couch without speaking, keeping his arm around my shoulder when the cold air outside made me shiver. He took the driver's seat without asking, and then pulled me next to his side to keep his arm tight around me. I leaned my head against his chest. "How will you get home?" I asked. "I'm not going home. We still haven't caught the bloodsucker, remember?" My next shudder had nothing to do with cold. It was a quiet ride after that. The cold air had woken me up. My mind was alert, and it was working very hard and very fast. What if? What was the right thing to do? I couldn't imagine my life without Jacob now—I cringed away from the idea of even trying to imagine that. Somehow, he'd become essential to my survival. But to leave things the way they were… was that cruel, as Mike had accused? I remembered wishing that Jacob were my brother. I realized now that all I really wanted was a claim on him. It didn't feel brotherly when he held me like this. It just felt nice—warm and comforting and familiar. Safe. Jacob was a safe harbor. I could stake a claim. I had that much within my power. I'd have to tell him everything, I knew that. It was the only way to be fair. I'd have to explain it right, so that he'd know I wasn't settling, that he was much too good for me. He already knew I was broken, that part wouldn't surprise him, but he'd need to know the extent of it. I'd even have to admit that I was crazy—explain about the voices I heard. He'd need to know everything before he made a decision. But, even as I recognized that necessity, I knew he would take me in spite of it all. He wouldn't even pause to think it through. I would have to commit to this—commit as much of me as there was left, every one of the broken pieces. It was the only way to be fair to him. Would I? Could I? Would it be so wrong to try to make Jacob happy? Even if the love I felt for him was no more than a weak echo of what I was capable of, even if my heart was far away, wandering and grieving after my fickle Romeo, would it be so very wrong? Jacob stopped the truck in front of my dark house, cutting the engine so it was suddenly silent. Like so many other times, he seemed to be in tune with my thoughts now. He threw his other arm around me, crushing me against his cheat, binding me to him. Again, this felt nice. Almost like being a whole person again. I thought he would be thinking of Harry, but then he spoke, and his tone was apologetic. "Sorry. I know you don't feel exactly the way I do, Bella. I swear I don't mind. I'm just so glad you're okay that I could sing—and that's something no one wants to hear." He laughed his throaty laugh in my ear. My breathing kicked up a notch, sanding the walls of my throat. Wouldn't Edward, indifferent as he might be, want me to be as happy as possible under the circumstances? Wouldn't enough friendly emotion linger for him to want that much for me? I thought he would. He wouldn't begrudge me this: giving just a small bit of love he didn't want to my friend Jacob. After all, it wasn't the same love at all. Jake pressed his warm cheek against the top of my hair. If I turned my face to the side—if I pressed my lips against his bare shoulder… I knew without any doubt what would follow. It would be very easy. There would be no need for explanations tonight. But could I do it? Could I betray my absent heart to save my pathetic life? Butterflies assaulted my stomach as I thought of turning my head. And then, as clearly as if I were in immediate danger, Edward's velvet voice whispered in my ear. "Be happy," he told me. I froze. Jacob felt me stiffen and released me automatically, reaching for the door. Wait, I wanted to say. Just a minute. But I was still locked in place, listening to the echo of Edward's voice in my head. Storm-cooled air blew through the cab of the truck. "OH!" The breath whooshed out of Jacob like someone had punched him in the gut. "Holy crap!" He slammed the door and twisted the keys in the ignition at the same moment. His hands were shaking so hard I didn't know how he managed it. "What's wrong?" He revved the engine too fast; it sputtered and faltered. "Vampire," he spit out. The blood rushed from my head and left me dizzy. "How do you know?" "Because I can smell it. Dammit!" Jacob's eyes were wild, raking the dark street. He barely seemed aware of the tremors that were rolling through his body. "Phase or get her out of here?" he hissed at himself. He looked down at me for a split second, taking in my horror-struck eyes and white face, and then he was scanning the street again. "Right. Get you out." The engine caught with a roar. The tires squealed as he spun the truck around, turning toward our only escape. The headlights washed across the pavement, lit the front line of the black forest, and finally glinted off a car parked across the street from my house. "Stop!" I gasped. It was a black car—a car I knew. I might be the furthest thing from an autophile, but I could tell you everything about that particular car. It was a Mercedes S55 AMG. I knew the horsepower and the color of the interior. I knew the feel of the powerful engine purring through the frame. I knew the rich smell of the leather seats and the way the extra-dark tint made noon look like dusk through those windows. It was Carlisle's car. "Stop!" I cried again, louder this time, because Jacob was gunning the truck down the street. "What?!" "It's not Victoria. Stop, stop! I want to go back." He stomped on the brake so hard I had to catch myself against the dashboard. "What?" he asked again, aghast. He stared at me with horror in his eyes. "It's Carlisle's car! It's the Cullens. I know it." He watched dawn break across my face, and a violent tremor rocked his frame. "Hey, calm down, Jake. It's okay. No danger, see? Relax." "Yeah, calm," he panted, putting his head down and closing his eyes. While he concentrated on not exploding into a wolf, I stared out the back window at the black car. It was just Carlisle, I told myself. Don't expect anything more. Maybe Esme… Stop right there, I told myself. Just Carlisle. That was plenty. More than I'd ever hoped to have again. "There's a vampire in your house," Jacob hissed. "And you want to go back?" I glanced at him, ripping my unwilling eyes off the Mercedes—terrified that it would disappear the second I looked away. "Of course," I said, my voice blank with surprise at his question. Of course I wanted to go back. Jacob's face hardened while I stared at him, congealing into the bitter mask that I'd thought was gone for good. Just before he had the mask in place, I caught the spasm of betrayal that flashed in his eyes. His hands were still shaking. He looked ten years older than me. He took a deep breath. "You're sure it's not a trick?" he asked in a slow, heavy voice. "It's not a trick. It's Carlisle. Take me back!" A shudder rippled through his wide shoulders, but his eyes were flat and emotionless. "No." "Jake, it's okay—" "No. Take yourself back, Bella." His voice was a slap—I flinched as the sound of it struck me. His jaw clenched and unclenched. "Look, Bella," he said in the same hard voice. "I can't go back. Treaty or no treaty, that's my enemy in there." "It's not like that—" "I have to tell Sam right away. This changes things. We can't be caught on their territory." "Jake, it's not a war!" He didn't listen. He put the truck in neutral and jumped out the door, leaving it running. "Bye, Bella," he called back over his shoulder. "I really hope you don't die." He sprinted into the darkness, shaking so hard that his shape seemed blurred; he disappeared before I could open my mouth to call him back. Remorse pinned me against the seat for one long second. What had I just done to Jacob'? But remorse couldn't hold me very long. I slid across the seat and put the truck back in drive. My hands were shaking almost as hard as Jake's had been, and this took a minute of concentration. Then I carefully turned the truck around and drove it back to my house. It was very dark when I turned off the headlights. Charlie had left in such a hurry that he'd forgotten to leave the porch lamp on. I felt a pang of doubt, staring at the house, deep in shadow. What if it was a trick? I looked back at the black car, almost invisible in the night. No. I knew that car. Still, my hands were shaking even worse than before as I reached for the key above the door. When I grabbed the doorknob to unlock it, it twisted easily under my hand. I let the door fall open. The hallway was black. I wanted to call out a greeting, but my throat was too dry. I couldn't quite seem to catch my breath. I took a step inside and fumbled for the light switch. It was so black—like the black water… Where was that switch? Just like the black water, with the orange flame flickering impossibly on top of it. Flame that couldn't be a fire, but what then… ? My fingers traced the wall, still searching, still shaking— Suddenly, something Jacob had told me this afternoon echoed in my head, finally sinking in… She took off into the water, he'd said. The bloodsuckers have the advantage there. That's why I raced home —I was afraid she was going to double back swimming. My hand froze in its searching, my whole body froze into place, as I realized why I recognized the strange orange color on the water. Victoria's hair, blowing wild in the wind, the color of fire… She'd been right there. Right there in the harbor with me and Jacob. If Sam hadn't been there, if it had been just the two of us… ? I couldn't breathe or move. The light flicked on, though my frozen hand had still not found the switch. I blinked into the sudden light, and saw that someone was there, waiting for me. 17. VISITOR UNNATURALLY STILL AND WHITE, WITH LARGE BLACK EYES intent on my face, my visitor waited perfectly motionless in the center of the halt, beautiful beyond imagining. My knees trembled for a second, and I nearly fell. Then I hurled myself at her. "Alice, oh, Alice!" I cried, as I slammed into her. I'd forgotten how hard she was; it was like running headlong into a wall of cement. "Bella?" There was a strange mingling of relief and confusion in her voice. I locked my arms around her, gasping to inhale as much of the scent of her skin as possible. It wasn't like anything else—not floral or spice, citrus or musk. No perfume in the world could compare. My memory hadn't done it justice. I didn't notice when the gasping turned into something else—I only realized I was sobbing when Alice dragged me to the living room couch and pulled me into her lap. It was like curling up into a cool stone, but a stone that was contoured comfortingly to the shape of my body. She rubbed my back in a gentle rhythm, waiting for me to get control of myself. "I'm… sorry," I blubbered. "I'm just… so happy… to see you!" "It's okay, Bella. Everything's okay." "Yes," I bawled. And, for once, it seemed that way. Alice sighed. "I'd forgotten how exuberant you are," she said, and her tone was disapproving. I looked up at her through my streaming eyes. Alice's neck was tight, straining away from me, her lips pressed together firmly. Her eyes were black as pitch. "Oh," I puffed, as I realized the problem. She was thirsty. And I smelled appetizing. It had been a while since I'd had to think about that kind of thing. "Sorry." "It's my own fault. It's been too long since I hunted. I shouldn't let myself get so thirsty. But I was in a hurry today." The look she directed at me then was a glare. "Speaking of which, would you like to explain to me how you're alive?" That brought me up short and stopped the sobs. I realized what must have happened immediately, and why Alice was here. I swallowed loudly. "You saw me fall." "No," she disagreed, her eyes narrowing. "I saw you jump." I pursed my lips as I tried to think of an explanation that wouldn't sound nuts. Alice shook her head. "I told him this would happen, but he didn't believe me. 'Bella promised,'" her voice imitated his so perfectly that I iroze in shock while the pain ripped through my torso. "'Don't be looking for her future, either,'" she continued to quote him. '"We've done enough damage." "But just because I'm not looking, doesn't mean I don't see" she went on. "I wasn't keeping tabs on you, I swear, Bella. It's just that I'm alreacy attuned to you… when I saw you jumping, I didn't think, I just got on a plane. I knew I would be too late, but I couldn't do nothing. And then I get here, thinking maybe I could help Charlie somehow, and you drive up." She shook her head, this time in confusion. Her voice was strained. "I saw you go into the water and I waited and waited for you to come up, but you didn't. What happened? And how could you do that to Charlie? Did you stop to think what this would do to him? And my brother? Do you have any idea what Edward—" I cut her off then, as soon as she said his name. I'd let her go on, even after I realized the misunderstanding she was under, just to hear the perfect bell tone of her voice. But it was time to interrupt. "Alice, I wasn't committing suicide." She eyed me dubiously. "Are you saying you didn't jump off a cliff?" "No, but…" I grimaced. "It was for recreational purposes only." Her expression hardened. "I'd seen some of Jacob's friends cliff diving," I insisted. "It looked like… fun, and I was bored…" She waited. "I didn't think about how the storm would affect the currents. Actually, I didn't think about the water much at all." Alice didn't buy it. I could see that she still thought I had been trying to kill myself. I decided to redirect. "So if you saw me go in, why didn't you see Jacob?" She cocked her head to the side, distracted. I continued. "It's true that I probably would have drowned if Jacob hadn't jumped in after me. Well, okay, there's no probably about it. But he did, and he pulled me out, and I guess he towed me back to shore, though I was kind of out for that part. It couldn't have been more than a minute that I was under before he grabbed me. How come you didn't see that?" She frowned in perplexity. "Someone pulled you out?" "Yes. Jacob saved me." I watched curiously as an enigmatic range of emotions flitted across her face. Something was bothering her—her imperfect vision? But I wasn't sure. Then she deliberately leaned in and sniffed my shoulder. I froze. "Don't be ridiculous," she muttered, sniffing at me some more. "What are you doing?" She ignored my question. "Who was with you out there just now? It sounded like you were arguing." "Jacob Black. He's… sort of my best friend, I guess. At least, he was…" I thought of Jacob's angry, betrayed face, and wondered what he was to me now. Alice nodded, seeming preoccupied. "What?" "I don't know," she said. "I'm not sure what it means." "Well, I'm not dead, at least." She rolled her eyes. "He was a fool to think you could survive alone. I've never seen anyone so prone to life-threatening idiocy." "I survived," I pointed out. She was thinking of something else. "So, if the currents were too much for you, how did this Jacob manage?" "Jacob is… strong." She heard the reluctance in my voice, and her eyebrows rose. I gnawed on my lip for a second. Was this a secret, or not? And if it was, then who was my greatest allegiance to? Jacob, or Alice? It was too hard to keep secrets, I decided. Jacob knew everything, why not Alice, too? "See, well, he's… sort of a werewolf," I admitted in a rush. "The Quileutes turn into wolves when there are vampires around. They know Carlisle from a long time ago. Were you with Carlisle back then?" Alice gawked at me for a moment, and then recovered herself, blinking rapidly. "Well, I guess that explains the smell," she muttered. "But does it explain what I didn't see?" She frowned, her porcelain forehead creasing. "The smell?" I repeated. "You smell awful," she said absently, still frowning. "A werewolf? Are you sure about that?" "Very sure," I promised, wincing as I remembered Paul and Jacob fighting in the road. "I guess you weren't with Carlisle the last time there were werewolves here in Forks?" "No. I hadn't found him yet." Alice was still lost in thought. Suddenly, her eyes widened, and she turned to stare at me with a shocked expression. "Your best friend is a werewolf?" I nodded sheepishly. "How long has this been going on?" "Not long," I said, my voice sounding defensive. "He's only been a werewolf for just a few weeks." She glowered at me. "A young werewolf? Even worse! Edward was right—you're a magnet for danger. Weren't you supposed to be staying out of trouble?" "There's nothing wrong with werewolves," I grumbled, stung by her critical tone. "Until they lose their tempers." She shook her head sharply from side to side. "Leave it to you, Bella. Anyone else would be better off when the vampires left town. But you have to start hanging out with the first monsters you can find." I didn't want to argue with Alice—I was still trembling with joy that she was really, truly here, that I could touch her marble skin and hear her wind-chime voice—but she had it all wrong. "No, Alice, the vampires didn't really leave—not all of them, anyway. That's the whole trouble. If it weren't for the werewolves, Victoria would have gotten me by now. Well, if it weren't for Jake and his friends, Laurent would have gotten me before she could, I guess, so—" "Victoria?" she hissed. "Laurent?" I nodded, a teensy bit alarmed by the expression in her black eyes. I pointed at my chest. "Danger magnet, remember?" She shook her head again. "Tell me everything—start at the beginning." I glossed over the beginning, skipping the motorcycles and the voices, but telling her everything else right up to today's misadventure. Alice didn't like my thin explanation about boredom and the cliffs, so I hurried on to the strange flame I'd seen on the water and what I thought it meant. Her eyes narrowed almost to slits at that part. It was strange to see her look so… so dangerous—like a vampire. I swallowed hard and went on with the rest about Harry. She listened to my story without interrupting. Occasionally, she would shake her head, and the crease in her forehead deepened until it looked like it was carved permanently into the marble of her skin. She didn't speak and, finally, I fell quiet, struck again by the borrowed grief at Harry's passing. I thought of Charlie; he would be home soon. What condition would he be in? "Our leaving didn't do you any good at all, did it?" Alice murmured. I laughed once—it was a slightly hysterical sound. "That was never the point, though, was it? It's not like
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