贵妇人画像The Portrait of a Lady-34

sensibly chilling than Mrs. Touchett's maternal kiss. Ralph was shocked and humiliated; hiscalculations had been false and the person in the world in whom he was most interested was lost.He drifted about the house like a rudderless vessel in a rocky stream, or sat in the garden of thepalace on a great cane chair, his long legs extended, his head thrown back and his hat pulled overhis eyes. He felt cold about the heart; he had never liked anything less. What could he do, whatcould he say? If the girl were irreclaimable could he pretend to like it? To attempt to reclaim herwas permissible only if the attempt should succeed. To try to persuade her of anything sordid orsinister in the man to whose deep art she had succumbed would be decently discreet only in theevent of her being persuaded. Otherwise he should simply have damned himself. It cost him anequal effort to speak his thought and to dissemble; he could neither assent with sincerity norprotest with hope. Meanwhile he knew--or rather he supposed--that the affianced pair were dailyrenewing their mutual vows. Osmond at this moment showed himself little at Palazzo Crescentini;but Isabel met him every day elsewhere, as she was free to do after their engagement had beenmade public. She had taken a carriage by the month, so as not to be indebted to her aunt for themeans of pursuing a course of which Mrs. Touchett disapproved, and she drove in the morning tothe Cascine. This suburban wilderness, during the early hours, was void of all intruders, and ouryoung lady, joined by her lover in its quietest part, strolled with him a while through the greyItalian shade and listened to the nightingales.CHAPTER XXIVOne morning, on her return from her drive, some half-hour before luncheon, she quitted hervehicle in the court of the palace and, instead of ascending the great staircase, crossed the court,passed beneath another archway and entered the garden. A sweeter spot at this moment could nothave been imagined. The stillness of noontide hung over it, and the warm shade, enclosed and still,made bowers like spacious caves. Ralph was sitting there in the clear gloom, at the base of a statueof Terpsichore--a dancing nymph with taper fingers and inflated draperies in the manner ofBernini; the extreme relaxation of his attitude suggested at first to Isabel that he was asleep. Herlight footstep on the grass had not roused him, and before turning away she stood for a momentlooking at him. During this instant he opened his eyes; upon which she sat down on a rustic chairthat matched with his own. Though in her irritation she had accused him of indifference she wasnot blind to the fact that he had visibly had something to brood over. But she had explained his airof absence partly by the languor of his increased weakness, partly by worries connected with theproperty inherited from his father--the fruit of eccentric arrangements of which Mrs. Touchettdisapproved and which, as she had told Isabel, now encountered opposition from the other partnersin the bank. He ought to have gone to England, his mother said, instead of coming to Florence; hehad not been there for months, and took no more interest in the bank than in the state of Patagonia.第 227 页 共 391 页原版英语阅读网"I'm sorry I waked you," Isabel said; "you look too tired.""I feel too tired. But I was not asleep. I was thinking of you.""Are you tired of that?""Very much so. It leads to nothing. The road's long and I never arrive.""What do you wish to arrive at?" she put to him, closing her parasol."At the point of expressing to myself properly what I think of your engagement.""Don't think too much of it," she lightly returned."Do you mean that it's none of my business?""Beyond a certain point, yes.""That's the point I want to fix. I had an idea you may have found me wanting in good manners. I'venever congratulated you.""Of course I've noticed that. I wondered why you were silent.""There have been a good many reasons. I'll tell you now," Ralph said. He pulled off his hat andlaid it on the ground; then he sat looking at her. He leaned back under the protection of Bernini, hishead against his marble pedestal, his arms dropped on either side of him, his hands laid upon therests of his wide chair. He looked awkward, uncomfortable; he hesitated long. Isabel said nothing;when people were embarrassed she was usually sorry for them, but she was determined not to helpRalph to utter a word that should not be to the honour of her high decision. "I think I've hardly gotover my surprise," he went on at last. "You were the last person I expected to see caught.""I don't know why you call it caught.""Because you're going to be put into a cage.""If I like my cage, that needn't trouble you," she answered."That's what I wonder at; that's what I've been thinking of.""If you've been thinking you may imagine how I've thought! I'm satisfied that I'm doing well.""You must have changed immensely. A year ago you valued your liberty beyond everything. Youwanted only to see life.""I've seen it," said Isabel. "It doesn't look to me now, I admit, such an inviting expanse.""I don't pretend it is; only I had an idea that you took a genial view of it and wanted to survey thewhole field.""I've seen that one can't do anything so general. One must choose a corner and cultivate that.""That's what I think. And one must choose as good a corner as possible. I had no idea, all winter,while I read your delightful letters, that you were choosing. You said nothing about it, and yoursilence put me off my guard.""It was not a matter I was likely to write to you about. Besides, I knew nothing of the future. It hasall come lately. If you had been on your guard, however," Isabel asked, "what would you havedone?""I should have said 'Wait a little longer.'"第 228 页 共 391 页原版英语阅读网"Wait for what?""Well, for a little more light," said Ralph with rather an absurd smile, while his hands found theirway into his pockets."Where should my light have come from? From you?""I might have struck a spark or two."Isabel had drawn off her gloves; she smoothed them out as they lay upon her knee. The mildnessof this movement was accidental, for her expression was not conciliatory. "You're beating aboutthe bush, Ralph. You wish to say you don't like Mr. Osmond, and yet you're afraid.""Willing to wound and yet afraid to strike? I'm willing to wound HIM, yes--but not to wound you.I'm afraid of you, not of him. If you marry him it won't be a fortunate way for me to have spoken.""IF I marry him! Have you had any expectation of dissuading me?""Of course that seems to you too fatuous.""No," said Isabel after a little; "it seems to me too touching.""That's the same thing. It makes me so ridiculous that you pity me."She stroked out her long gloves again. "I know you've a great affection for me. I can't get rid ofthat.""For heaven's sake don't try. Keep that well in sight. It will convince you how intensely I want youto do well.""And how little you trust me!"There was a moment's silence; the warm noontide seemed to listen. "I trust you, but I don't trusthim," said Ralph.She raised her eyes and gave him a wide, deep look. "You've said it now, and I'm glad you'vemade it so clear. But you'll suffer by it.""Not if you're just.""I'm very just," said Isabel. "What better proof of it can there be than that I'm not angry with you? Idon't know what's the matter with me, but I'm not. I was when you began, but it has passed away.Perhaps I ought to be angry, but Mr. Osmond wouldn't think so. He wants me to know everything;that's what I like him for. You've nothing to gain, I know that. I've never been so nice to you, as agirl, that you should have much reason for wishing me to remain one. You give very good advice;you've often done so. No, I'm very quiet; I've always believed in your wisdom," she went on,boasting of her quietness, yet speaking with a kind of contained exaltation. It was her passionatedesire to be just; it touched Ralph to the heart, affected him like a caress from a creature he hadinjured. He wished to interrupt, to reassure her; for a moment he was absurdly inconsistent; hewould have retracted what he had said. But she gave him no chance; she went on, having caught aglimpse, as she thought, of the heroic line and desiring to advance in that direction. "I see you'vesome special idea; I should like very much to hear it. I'm sure it's disinterested; I feel that. It seemsa strange thing to argue about, and of course I ought to tell you definitely that if you expect todissuade me you may give it up. You'll not move me an inch; it's too late. As you say, I'm caught.第 229 页 共 391 页原版英语阅读网Certainly it won't be pleasant for you to remember this, but your pain will be in your own thoughts.I shall never reproach you.""I don't think you ever will," said Ralph. "It's not in the least the sort of marriage I thought you'dmake.""What sort of marriage was that, pray?""Well, I can hardly say. I hadn't exactly a positive view of it, but I had a negative. I didn't thinkyou'd decide for--well, for that type.""What's the matter with Mr. Osmond's type, if it be one? His being so independent, so individual,is what I most see in him," the girl declared. "What do you know against him? You know himscarcely at all.""Yes," Ralph said, "I know him very little, and I confess I haven't facts and items to prove him avillain. But all the same I can't help feeling that you're running a grave risk.""Marriage is always a grave risk, and his risk's as grave as mine.""That's his affair! If he's afraid, let him back out. I wish to God he would."Isabel reclined in her chair, folding her arms and gazing a while at her cousin. "I don't think Iunderstand you," she said at last coldly. "I don't know what you're talking about.""I believed you'd marry a man of more importance."Cold, I say, her tone had been, but at this a colour like a flame leaped into her face. "Of moreimportance to whom? It seems to me enough that one's husband should be of importance to one'sself!"Ralph blushed as well; his attitude embarrassed him. Physically speaking he proceeded to changeit; he straightened himself, then leaned forward, resting a hand on each knee. He fixed his eyes onthe ground; he had an air of the most respectful deliberation."I'll tell you in a moment what I mean," he presently said. He felt agitated, intensely eager; nowthat he had opened the discussion he wished to discharge his mind. But he wished also to besuperlatively gentle.Isabel waited a little--then she went on with majesty. "In everything that makes one care for peopleMr. Osmond is pre-eminent. There may be nobler natures, but I've never had the pleasure ofmeeting one. Mr. Osmond's is the finest I know; he's good enough for me, and interesting enough,and clever enough. I'm far more struck with what he has and what he represents than with what hemay lack.""I had treated myself to a charming vision of your future," Ralph observed without answering this;"I had amused myself with planning out a high destiny for you. There was to be nothing of this sortin it. You were not to come down so easily or so soon.""Come down, you say?""Well, that renders my sense of what has happened to you. You seemed to me to be soaring far upin the blue--to be, sailing in the bright light, over the heads of men. Suddenly some one tosses up afaded rosebud--a missile that should never have reached you--and straight you drop to the ground.It hurts me," said Ralph audaciously, "hurts me as if I had fallen myself!"第 230 页 共 391 页原版英语阅读网The look of pain and bewilderment deepened in his companion's face. "I don't understand you inthe least," she repeated. "You say you amused yourself with a project for my career--I don'tunderstand that. Don't amuse yourself too much, or I shall think you're doing it at my expense."Ralph shook his head. "I'm not afraid of your not believing that I've had great ideas for you.""What do you mean by my soaring and sailing?" she pursued."I've never moved on a higher plane than I'm moving on now. There's nothing higher for a girl thanto marry a--a person she likes," said poor Isabel, wandering into the didactic."It's your liking the person we speak of that I venture to criticise, my dear cousin. I should havesaid that the man for you would have been a more active, larger, freer sort of nature." Ralphhesitated, then added: "I can't get over the sense that Osmond is somehow--well, small." He haduttered the last word with no great assurance; he was afraid she would flash out again. But to hissurprise she was quiet; she had the air of considering."Small?" She made it sound immense."I think he's narrow, selfish. He takes himself so seriously!""He has a great respect for himself; I don't blame him for that," said Isabel. "It makes one moresure to respect others."Ralph for a moment felt almost reassured by her reasonable tone."Yes, but everything is relative; one ought to feel one's relation to things--to others. I don't thinkMr. Osmond does that.""I've chiefly to do with his relation to me. In that he's excellent.""He's the incarnation of taste," Ralph went on, thinking hard how he could best express GilbertOsmond's sinister attributes without putting himself in the wrong by seeming to describe himcoarsely. He wished to describe him impersonally, scientifically. "He judges and measures,approves and condemns, altogether by that.""It's a happy thing then that his taste should be exquisite.""It's exquisite, indeed, since it has led him to select you as his bride. But have you ever seen such ataste--a really exquisite one--ruffled?""I hope it may never be my fortune to fail to gratify my husband's."At these words a sudden passion leaped to Ralph's lips. "Ah, that's wilful, that's unworthy of you!You were not meant to be measured in that way--you were meant for something better than to keepguard over the sensibilities of a sterile dilettante!"Isabel rose quickly and he did the same, so that they stood for a moment looking at each other as ifhe had flung down a defiance or an insult. But "You go too far," she simply breathed."I've said what I had on my mind--and I've said it because I love you!"Isabel turned pale: was he too on that tiresome list? She had a sudden wish to strike him off. "Ahthen, you're not disinterested!""I love you, but I love without hope," said Ralph quickly, forcing a smile and feeling that in thatlast declaration he had expressed more than he intended.第 231 页 共 391 页原版英语阅读网Isabel moved away and stood looking into the sunny stillness of the garden; but after a little sheturned back to him. "I'm afraid your talk then is the wildness of despair! I don't understand it --butit doesn't matter. I'm not arguing with you; it's impossible I should; I've only tried to listen to you.I'm much obliged to you for attempting to explain," she said gently, as if the anger with which shehad just sprung up had already subsided. "It's very good of you to try to warn me, if you're reallyalarmed; but I won't promise to think of what you've said: I shall forget it as soon as possible. Tryand forget it yourself; you've done your duty, and no man can do more. I can't explain to you whatI feel, what I believe, and I wouldn't if I could." She paused a moment and then went on with aninconsequence that Ralph observed even in the midst of his eagerness to discover some symptomof concession. "I can't enter into your idea of Mr. Osmond; I can't do it justice, because I see himin quite another way. He's not important--no, he's not important; he's a man to whom importance issupremely indifferent. If that's what you mean when you call him 'small,' then he's as small as youplease. I call that large--it's the largest thing I know. I won't pretend to argue with you about aperson I'm going to marry," Isabel repeated. "I'm not in the least concerned to defend Mr. Osmond;he's not so weak as to need my defence. I should think it would seem strange even to yourself thatI should talk of him so quietly and coldly, as if he were any one else. I wouldn't talk of him at all toany one but you; and you, after what you've said--I may just answer you once for all. Pray, wouldyou wish me to make a mercenary marriage--what they call a marriage of ambition? I've only oneambition--to be free to follow out a good feeling. I had others once, but they've passed away. Doyou complain of Mr. Osmond because he's not rich? That's just what I like him for. I've fortunatelymoney enough; I've never felt so thankful for it as to-day. There have been moments when I shouldlike to go and kneel down by your father's grave: he did perhaps a better thing than he knew whenhe put it into my power to marry a poor man--a man who has borne his poverty with such dignity,with such indifference. Mr. Osmond has never scrambled nor struggled--he has cared for noworldly prize. If that's to be narrow, if that's to be selfish, then it's very well. I'm not frightened bysuch words, I'm not even displeased; I'm only sorry that you should make a mistake. Others mighthave done so, but I'm surprised that you should. You might know a gentleman when you see one-youmight know a fine mind. Mr. Osmond makes no mistakes! He knows everything, heunderstands everything, he has the kindest, gentlest, highest spirit. You've got hold of some falseidea. It's a pity, but I can't help it; it regards you more than me." Isabel paused a moment, lookingat her cousin with an eye illumined by a sentiment which contradicted the careful calmness of hermanner--a mingled sentiment, to which the angry pain excited by his words and the wounded prideof having needed to justify a choice of which she felt only the nobleness and purity, equallycontributed. Though she paused Ralph said nothing; he saw she had more to say. She was grand,but she was highly solicitous; she was indifferent, but she was all in a passion. "What sort of aperson should you have liked me to marry?" she asked suddenly. "You talk about one's soaring andsailing, but if one marries at all one touches the earth. One has human feelings and needs, one hasa heart in one's bosom, and one must marry a particular individual. Your mother has neverforgiven me for not having come to a better understanding with Lord Warburton, and she'shorrified at my contenting myself with a person who has none of his great advantages--noproperty, no title, no honours, no houses, nor lands, nor position, nor reputation, nor brilliantbelongings of any sort. It's the total absence of all these things that pleases me. Mr. Osmond'ssimply a very lonely, a very cultivated and a very honest man--he's not a prodigious proprietor."第 232 页 共 391 页原版英语阅读网Ralph had listened with great attention, as if everything she said merited deep consideration; but intruth he was only half thinking of the things she said, he was for the rest simply accommodatinghimself to the weight of his total impression--the impression of her ardent good faith. She waswrong, but she believed; she was deluded, but she was dismally consistent. It was wonderfullycharacteristic of her that, having invented a fine theory, about Gilbert Osmond, she loved him notfor what he really possessed, but for his very poverties dressed out as honours. Ralph rememberedwhat he had said to his father about wishing to put it into her power to meet the requirements ofher imagination. He had done so, and the girl had taken full advantage of the luxury. Poor Ralphfelt sick; he felt ashamed. Isabel had uttered her last words with a low solemnity of convictionwhich virtually terminated the discussion, and she closed it formally by turning away and walkingback to the house. Ralph walked beside her, and they passed into the court together and reachedthe big staircase. Here he stopped and Isabel paused, turning on him a face of elation--absolutelyand perversely of gratitude. His opposition had made her own conception of her conduct clearer toher. "Shall you not come up to breakfast?" she asked."No; I want no breakfast; I'm not hungry.""You ought to eat," said the girl; "you live on air.""I do, very much, and I shall go back into the garden and take another mouthful. I came thus farsimply to say this. I told you last year that if you were to get into trouble I should feel terribly sold.That's how I feel to-day.""Do you think I'm in trouble?""One's in trouble when one's in error.""Very well," said Isabel; "I shall never complain of my trouble to you!" And she moved up thestaircase.Ralph, standing there with his hands in his pockets, followed her with his eyes; then the lurkingchill of the high-walled court struck him and made him shiver, so that he returned to the garden tobreakfast on the Florentine sunshine.CHAPTER XXXVIsabel, when she strolled in the Cascine with her lover, felt no impulse to tell him how little he wasapproved at Palazzo Crescentini. The discreet opposition offered to her marriage by her aunt andher cousin made on the whole no great impression upon her; the moral of it was simply that theydisliked Gilbert Osmond. This dislike was not alarming to Isabel; she scarcely even regretted it; forit served mainly to throw into higher relief the fact, in every way so honourable, that she marriedto please herself. One did other things to please other people; one did this for a more personal