如何停止焦虑开始新生活-19

years I have had the habit of dropping into empty churches on weekday afternoons.When I feel that I am too rushed and hurried to spare a few minutes to think aboutspiritual things, I say to myself: "Wait a minute, Dale Carnegie, wait a minute. Why allthe feverish hurry and rush, little man? You need to pause and acquire a littleperspective." At such times, I frequently drop into the first church that I find open.Although I am a Protestant, I frequently, on weekday afternoons, drop into St. Patrick'sCathedral on Fifth Avenue, and remind myself that I'll be dead in another thirty years,but that the great spiritual truths that all churches teach are eternal. I close my eyesand pray. I find that doing this calms my nerves, rests my body, clarifies myperspective, and helps me revalue my values. May I recommend this practice to you?During the past six years that I have been writing this book I have collected hundreds ofexamples and concrete cases of how men and women conquered fear and worry byprayer. I have in my filing cabinet folders bulging with case histories. Let's take as atypical example the story of a discouraged and disheartened book salesman, John R.Anthony. Mr. Anthony is now an attorney in Houston, Texas, with offices in the HumbleBuilding. Here is his story as he told it to me."Twenty-two years ago I closed my private law office to become state representative ofan American law-book company. My specialty was selling a set of law-books to lawyers-aset of books that were almost indispensable."I was ably and thoroughly trained for the job. I knew all the direct sales talks, and theconvincing answers to all possible objections. Before calling on a prospect, I familiarisedmyself with his rating as an attorney, the nature of his practice, his politics andhobbies. During my interview, I used that information with ample skill. Yet, somethingwas wrong. I just couldn't get orders!"I grew discouraged. As the days and weeks passed, I doubled and redoubled ray efforts,but was still unable to close enough sales to pay my expenses. A sense of fear and dreadgrew within me. I became afraid to call on people. Before I could enter a prospect'soffice, that feeling of dread flared up so strong that I would pace up and down thehallway outside the door-or go out of the building and circle the block. Then, afterlosing much valuable time and feigning enough courage by sheer will power to crash theoffice door, I feebly turned the doorknob with trembling hand-half hoping my prospectwould not be in!"My sales manager threatened to stop my advances if I didn't send in more orders. Mywife at home pleaded with me for money to pay the grocery bill for herself and ourthree children. Worry seized me. Day by day I grew more desperate. I didn't know whatto do. As I have already said, I had closed my private law office at home and given upmy clients. Now I was broke. I didn't have the money to pay even my hotel bill. Neitherdid I have the money to buy a ticket back home; nor did I have the courage to returnhome a beaten man, even if I had had the ticket. Finally, at the miserable end ofanother bad day, I trudged back to my hotel room-for the last time, I thought. So far asI was concerned, I was thoroughly beaten.Heartbroken, depressed, I didn't know which way to turn. I hardly cared whether I livedor died. I was sorry I had ever been born. I had nothing but a glass of hot milk that nightfor dinner. Even that was more than I could afford. I understood that night whydesperate men raise a hotel window and jump. I might have done it myself if I had hadthe courage. I began wondering what was the purpose of life. I didn't know. I couldn'tfigure it out."Since there was no one else to turn to, I turned to God. I began to pray. I implored theAlmighty to give me light and understanding and guidance through the dark, densewilderness of despair that had closed in about me. I asked God to help me get orders formy books and to give me money to feed my wife and children. After that prayer, Iopened my eyes and saw a Gideon Bible that lay on the dresser in that lonely hotelroom. I opened it and read those beautiful, immortal promises of Jesus that must haveinspired countless generations of lonely, worried, and beaten men throughout the agesatalk that Jesus gave to His disciples about how to keep from worrying:Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; not yet for yourbody, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather intobarns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? ...But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall beadded unto you."As I prayed and as I read those words, a miracle happened: my nervous tension fellaway. My anxieties, fears, and worries were transformed into heart-warming courageand hope and triumphant faith."I was happy, even though I didn't have enough money to pay my hotel bill. I went tobed and slept soundly-free from care-as I had not done for many years."Next morning, I could hardly hold myself back until the offices of my prospects wereopen. I approached the office door of my first prospect that beautiful, cold, rainy daywith a bold and positive stride. I turned the doorknob with a firm and steady grip. As Ientered, I made a beeline for my man, energetically, chin up, and with appropriatedignity, all smiles, and saying: 'Good morning, Mr. Smith! I'm John R. Anthony of the All-American Lawbook Company!'" 'Oh, yes, yes,' he replied, smiling, too, as he rose from his chair with outstretchedhand. 'I'm glad to see you. Have a seat!'"I made more sales that day than I had made in weeks. That evening I proudly returnedto my hotel like a conquering hero! I felt like a new man. And I was a new man, becauseI had a new and victorious mental attitude. No dinner of hot milk that night. No, sir! Ihad a steak with all the fixin's. From that day on, my sales zoomed."I was born anew that desperate night twenty-one years ago in a little hotel in Amarillo,Texas. My outward situation the next day was the same as it had been through myweeks of failure, but a tremendous thing had happened inside me. I had suddenlybecome aware of my relationship with God. A mere man alone can easily be defeated,but a man alive with the power of God within him is invincible. I know. I saw it work inmy own life." 'Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be openedunto you.' "When Mrs. L. G. Beaird, of 1421 8th Street, Highland, Illinois, was faced with starktragedy, she discovered that she could find peace and tranquility by kneeling down andsaying: "0 Lord, Thy will, not mine, be done.""One evening our telephone rang," she writes in a letter that I have before me now. "Itrang fourteen times before I had the courage to pick up the receiver. I knew it must bethe hospital, and I was terrified. I feared that our little boy was dying. He hadmeningitis. He had already been given penicillin, but it made his temperature fluctuate,and the doctor feared that the disease had travelled to his brain and might cause thedevelopment of a brain tumour-and death. The phone call was just what I feared. Thehospital was calling; the doctor wanted us to come immediately."Maybe you can picture the anguish my husband and I went through, sitting in thewaiting-room. Everyone else had his baby, but we sat there with empty arms, wonderingif we would ever hold our little fellow again. When we were finally called into thedoctor's private office, the expression on his face filled our heart with terror. His wordsbrought even more terror. He told us that there was only one chance in four that ourbaby would live. He said that if we knew another doctor, to please call him in on thecase."On the way home my husband broke down and, doubling up his fist, hit the steeringwheel, saying: 'Berts, I can't give that little guy up.' Have you ever seen a man cry? Itisn't a pleasant experience. We stopped the car and, after talking things over, decidedto stop in church and pray that if it was God's will to take our baby, we would resign ourwill to His. I sank in the pew and said with tears rolling down my cheeks: 'Not my willbut Thine be done.'"The moment I uttered those words, I felt better. A sense of peace that I hadn't felt fora long time came over me. All the way home, I kept repeating: 'O God, Thy will, notmine, be done.'"I slept soundly that night for the first time in a week. The doctor called a few dayslater and said that Bobby had passed the crisis. I thank God for the strong and healthyfour-year-old boy we have today."I know men who regard religion as something for women and children and preachers.They pride themselves on being "he-men" who can fight their battles alone.How surprised they might be to learn that some of the most famous "he-men" in theworld pray every day. For example, "he-man" Jack Dempsey told me that he never goesto bed without saying his prayers. He told me that he never eats a meal without firstthanking God for it. He told me that he prayed every day when he was training for about, and that when he was fighting, he always prayed just before the bell sounded foreach round. "Praying," he said, "helped me fight with courage and confidence.""He-man" Connie Mack told me that he couldn't go to sleep without saying his prayers."He-man" Eddie Rickenbacker told me that he believed his life had been saved byprayer. He prays every day."He-man" Edward R. Stettinius, former high official of General Motors and United StatesSteel, and former Secretary of State, told me that he prayed for wisdom and guidanceevery morning and night."He-man" J. Pierpont Morgan, the greatest financier of his age, often went alone toTrinity Church, at the head of Wall Street, on Saturday afternoons and knelt in prayer.When "he-man" Eisenhower flew to England to take supreme command of the British andAmerican forces, he took only one book on the plane with him-the Bible."He-man" General Mark Clark told me that he read his Bible every day during the warand knelt down in prayer. So did Chiang Kai-shek, and General Montgomery-"Monty of ElAlamein". So did Lord Nelson at Trafalgar. So did General Washington, Robert E. Lee,Stonewall Jackson, and scores of other great military leaders.These "he-men" discovered the truth of William James's statement: "We and God havebusiness with each other; and in opening ourselves to His influence, our deepest destinyis fulfilled."A lot of "he-men" are discovering that. Seventy-two million Americans are churchmembers now-an all-time record. As I said before, even the scientists are turning toreligion. Take, for example, Dr. Alexis Carrel, who wrote Man, the Unknown and wonthe greatest honour that can be bestowed upon any scientist, the Nobel prize. Dr. Carrelsaid in a Reader's Digest article: "Prayer is the most powerful form of energy one cangenerate. It is a force as real as terrestrial gravity. As a physician, I have seen men,after all other therapy had failed, lifted out of disease and melancholy by the sereneeffort of prayer. ... Prayer like radium is a source of luminous, self-generating energy.... In prayer, human beings seek to augment their finite energy by addressingthemselves to the Infinite source of all energy. When we pray, we link ourselves withthe inexhaustible motive power that spins the universe. We pray that a part of thispower be apportioned to our needs.Even in asking, our human deficiencies are filled and we arise strengthened andrepaired. ... Whenever we address God in fervent prayer, we change both soul and bodyfor the better. It could not happen that any man or woman could pray for a singlemoment without some good result."Admiral Byrd knows what it means to "link ourselves with the inexhaustible motivepower that spins the universe". His ability to do that pulled him through the most tryingordeal of his life. He tells the story in his book Alone. (*) In 1934, he spent five monthsin a hut buried beneath the icecap of Ross Barrier deep in the Antarctic. He was theonly living creature south of latitude seventy-eight. Blizzards roared above his shack;the cold plunged down to eighty-two degrees below zero; he was completely surroundedby unending night. And then he found, to his horror, he was being slowly poisoned bycarbon monoxide that escaped from his stove! What could he do? The nearest help was123 miles away, and could not possibly reach him for several months. He tried to fix hisstove and ventilating system, but the fumes still escaped. They often knocked him outcold. He lay on the floor completely unconscious. He couldn't eat; he couldn't sleep; hebecame so feeble that he could hardly leave his bunk. He frequently feared he wouldn'tlive until morning. He was convinced he would die in that cabin, and his body would behidden by perpetual snows.[*] Putnam & Co. Ltd.What saved his life? One day, in the depths of his despair, he reached for his diary andtried to set down his philosophy of life. "The human race," he wrote, "is not alone in theuniverse." He thought of the stars overhead, of the orderly swing of the constellationsand planets; of how the everlasting sun would, in its time, return to lighten even thewastes of the South Polar regions. And then he wrote in his diary: "I am not alone."This realisation that he was not alone-not even in a hole in the ice at the end of theearth-was what saved Richard Byrd. "I know it pulled me through," he says. And he goeson to add: "Few men in their lifetime come anywhere near exhausting the resourcesdwelling within them. There are deep wells of strength that are never used." RichardByrd learned to tap those wells of strength and use those resources-by turning to God.Glenn A. Arnold learned amidst the cornfields of Illinois the same lesson that AdmiralByrd learned in the polar icecap. Mr. Arnold, an insurance broker in the Bacon Building,Chillicothe, Illinois, opened his speech on conquering worry like this: "Eight years ago, Iturned the key in the lock of my front door for what I believed was the last time in mylife. I then climbed in my car and started down for the river. I was a failure," he said."One month before, my entire little world had come crashing down on my head. Myelectrical-appliance business had gone on the rocks. In my home my mother lay at thepoint of death. My wife was carrying our second child. Doctors' bills were mounting. Wehad mortgaged everything we had to start the business-our car and our furniture. I hadeven taken out a loan on my insurance policies. Now everything was gone. I couldn'ttake it any longer. So I climbed into my car and started for the river-determined to endthe sorry mess."I drove a few miles out in the country, pulled off the road, and got out and sat on theground and wept like a child. Then I really started to think-instead of going around infrightening circles of worry, I tried to think constructively. How bad was my situation?Couldn't it be worse? Was it really hopeless? What could I do to make it better?"I decided then and there to take the whole problem to the Lord and ask Him to handleit. I prayed. I prayed hard. I prayed as though my very life depended on it-which, infact, it did. Then a strange thing happened. As soon as I turned all my problems over toa power greater than myself, I immediately felt a peace of mind that I hadn't known inmonths. I must have sat there for half an hour, weeping and praying. Then I went homeand slept like a child."The next morning, I arose with confidence. I no longer had anything to fear, for I wasdepending on God for guidance. That morning I walked into a local department storewith my head high; and I spoke with confidence as I applied for a job as salesman in theelectrical-appliance department. I knew I would get a job. And I did. I made good at ituntil the whole appliance business collapsed due to the war. Then I began selling lifeinsurance-still under the management of my Great Guide. That was only five years ago.Now, all my bills are paid; I have a fine family of three bright children; own my ownhome; have a new car, and own twenty-five thousand dollars in life insurance."As I look back, I am glad now that I lost everything and became so depressed that Istarted for the river-because that tragedy taught me to rely on God; and I now have apeace and confidence that I never dreamed were possible."Why does religious faith bring us such peace and calm and fortitude? I'll let WilliamJames answer that. He says: "The turbulent billows of the fretful surface leave the deepparts of the ocean undisturbed; and to him who has a hold on vaster and morepermanent realities, the hourly vicissitudes of his personal destiny seem relativelyinsignificant things. The really religious person is accordingly unshakable and full ofequanimity, and calmly ready for any duty that the day may bring forth."If we are worried and anxious-why not try God ? Why not, as Immanuel Kant said:"accept a belief in God because we need such a belief"? Why not link ourselves now"with the inexhaustible motive power that spins the universe"?Even if you are not a religious person by nature or training-even if you are an out-andoutsceptic-prayer can help you much more than you believe, for it is a practical thing.What do I mean, practical? I mean that prayer fulfills these three very basicpsychological needs which all people share, whether they believe in God or not:1. Prayer helps us to put into words exactly what is troubling us. We saw in Chapter 4that it is almost impossible to deal with a problem while it remains vague and nebulous.Praying, in a way, is very much like writing our problem down on paper. If we ask helpfor a problem-even from God-we must put it into words.2. Prayer gives us a sense of sharing our burdens, of not being alone. Few of us are sostrong that we can bear our heaviest burdens, our most agonising troubles, all byourselves. Sometimes our worries are of so intimate a nature that we cannot discussthem even with our closest relatives or friends. Then prayer is the answer. Anypsychiatrist will tell us that when we are pent-up and tense, and in an agony of spirit, itis therapeutically good to tell someone our troubles. When we can't tell anyone else-wecan always tell God.3. Prayer puts into force an active principle of doing. It's a first step toward action. Idoubt if anyone can pray for some fulfillment, day after day, without benefiting from itinother words, without taking some steps to bring it to pass. A world-famous scientistsaid: "Prayer is the most powerful form of energy one can generate." So why not makeuse of it? Call it God or Allah or Spirit-why quarrel with definitions as long as themysterious powers of nature take us in hand?Why not close this book right now, go to your bedroom, shut the door, kneel down, andunburden your heart? If you have lost your religion, beseech Almighty God to renew yourfaith. Say: "O God, I can no longer fight my battles alone. I need Your help, Your love.Forgive me for all my mistakes. Cleanse my heart of all evil. Show me the way to peaceand quiet and health, and fill me with love even for my enemies."If you don't know how to pray, repeat this beautiful and inspiring prayer written by St.Francis seven hundred years ago:Lord, make me an instrument of Thy Peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love;where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope;where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to beunderstood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive,it is in pardoning, that we are pardoned and it is in dying that we are born to EternalLife.Part Six -How To Keep From Worrying About CriticismChapter 20 -Remember That No One Ever Kicks A Dead DogAn event occurred in 1929 that created a national sensation in educational circles.Learned men from all over America rushed to Chicago to witness the affair. A few yearsearlier, a young man by the name of Robert Hutchins had worked his way through Yale,acting as a waiter, a lumberjack, a tutor, and a clothes-line salesman. Now, only eightyears later, he was being inaugurated as president of the fourth richest university inAmerica, the University of Chicago. His age? Thirty. Incredible! The older educatorsshook their heads. Criticism came roaring down upon the "boy wonder" like a rockslide.He was this and he was that-too young, inexperienced-his educational ideas werecockeyed. Even the newspapers joined in the attack.The day he was inaugurated, a friend said to the father of Robert Maynard Hutchins: "Iwas shocked this morning to read that newspaper editorial denouncing your son.""Yes," the elder Hutchins replied, "it was severe, but remember that no one ever kicks adead dog."Yes, and the more important a dog is, the more satisfaction people get in kicking him.The Prince of Wales who later became Edward VIII (now Duke of Windsor) had thatforcibly brought home to him. He was attending Dartmouth College in Devonshire at thetime-a college that corresponds to the Naval Academy at Annapolis. The Prince wasabout fourteen. One day one of the naval officers found him crying, and asked him whatwas wrong. He refused to tell at first, but finally admitted the truth: he was beingkicked by the naval cadets. The commodore of the college summoned the boys andexplained to them that the Prince had not complained, but he wanted to find out whythe Prince had been singled out for this rough treatment.After much hemming and hawing and toe scraping, the cadets finally confessed thatwhen they themselves became commanders and captains in the King's Navy, theywanted to be able to say that they had kicked the King!So when you are kicked and criticised, remember that it is often done because it givesthe kicker a feeling of importance. It often means that you are accomplishing somethingand are worthy of attention. Many people get a sense of savage satisfaction out ofdenouncing those who are better educated than they are or more successful. Forexample, while I was writing this chapter, I received a letter from a woman denouncingGeneral William Booth, founder of the Salvation Army. I had given a laudatory broadcastabout General Booth; so this woman wrote me, saying that General Booth had stoleneight million dollars of the money he had collected to help poor people. The charge, ofcourse, was absurd. But this woman wasn't looking for truth. She was seeking the meanspiritedgratification that she got from tearing down someone far above her. I threw herbitter letter into the wastebasket, and thanked Almighty God that I wasn't married toher. Her letter didn't tell me anything at all about General Booth, but it did tell me a lotabout her. Schopenhauer had said it years ago: "Vulgar people take huge delight in thefaults and follies of great men."One hardly thinks of the president of Yale as a vulgar man; yet a former president ofYale, Timothy Dwight, apparently took huge delight in denouncing a man who wasrunning for President of the United States. The president of Yale warned that if this manwere elected President, "we may see our wives and daughters the victims of legalprostitution, soberly dishonoured, speciously polluted; the outcasts of delicacy andvirtue, the loathing of God and man."Sounds almost like a denunciation of Hitler, doesn't it? But it wasn't. It was adenunciation of Thomas Jefferson. Which Thomas Jefferson? Surely not the immortalThomas Jefferson, the author of the Declaration of Independence, the patron saint ofdemocracy? Yea, verily, that was the man.What American do you suppose was denounced as a "hypocrite", "an impostor", and as"little better than a murderer"?A newspaper cartoon depicted him on a guillotine, the big knife read to cut off his head.Crowds jeered at him and hissed him as he rode through the street. Who was he? GeorgeWashington.But that occurred a long time ago. Maybe human nature has improved since then. Let'ssee. Let's take the case of Admiral Peary-the explorer who startled and thrilled theworld by reaching the North Pole with dog sleds on April 6, 1909-a goal that brave menfor centuries had suffered and died to attain. Peary himself almost died from cold andstarvation; and eight of his toes were frozen so hard they had to be cut off. He was sooverwhelmed with disasters that he feared he would go insane. His superior navalofficers in Washington were burned up because Peary was getting so much publicity andacclaim. So they accused him of collecting money for scientific expeditions and then"lying around and loafing in the Arctic." And they probably believed it, because it isalmost impossible not to believe what you want to believe. Their determination tohumiliate and block Peary was so violent that only a direct order from PresidentMcKinley enabled Peary to continued his career in the Arctic.

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