his life long as the showing himself a proper man with his hands andfeet. Have a try therefore at something, and banish all sorrow fromyour mind. Your return home will not be long delayed, for the shipis already drawn into the water, and the crew is found."Ulysses answered, "Laodamas, why do you taunt me in this way? mymind is set rather on cares than contests; I have been throughinfinite trouble, and am come among you now as a suppliant, prayingyour king and people to further me on my return home."Then Euryalus reviled him outright and said, "I gather, then, thatyou are unskilled in any of the many sports that men generally delightin. I suppose you are one of those grasping traders that go about inships as captains or merchants, and who think of nothing but oftheir outward freights and homeward cargoes. There does not seem to bemuch of the athlete about you.""For shame, Sir," answered Ulysses, fiercely, "you are an insolentfellow- so true is it that the gods do not grace all men alike inspeech, person, and understanding. One man may be of weak presence,but heaven has adorned this with such a good conversation that hecharms every one who sees him; his honeyed moderation carries hishearers with him so that he is leader in all assemblies of hisfellows, and wherever he goes he is looked up to. Another may be ashandsome as a god, but his good looks are not crowned with discretion.This is your case. No god could make a finer looking fellow than youare, but you are a fool. Your ill-judged remarks have made meexceedingly angry, and you are quite mistaken, for I excel in agreat many athletic exercises; indeed, so long as I had youth andstrength, I was among the first athletes of the age. Now, however, Iam worn out by labour and sorrow, for I have gone through much both onthe field of battle and by the waves of the weary sea; still, in spiteof all this I will compete, for your taunts have stung me to thequick."So he hurried up without even taking his cloak off, and seized adisc, larger, more massive and much heavier than those used by thePhaeacians when disc-throwing among themselves. Then, swinging itback, he threw it from his brawny hand, and it made a humming sound inthe air as he did so. The Phaeacians quailed beneath the rushing ofits flight as it sped gracefully from his hand, and flew beyond anymark that had been made yet. Minerva, in the form of a man, came andmarked the place where it had fallen. "A blind man, Sir," said she,"could easily tell your mark by groping for it- it is so far aheadof any other. You may make your mind easy about this contest, for noPhaeacian can come near to such a throw as yours."Ulysses was glad when he found he had a friend among the lookers-on,so he began to speak more pleasantly. "Young men," said he, "come upto that throw if you can, and I will throw another disc as heavy oreven heavier. If anyone wants to have a bout with me let him comeon, for I am exceedingly angry; I will box, wrestle, or run, I donot care what it is, with any man of you all except Laodamas, butnot with him because I am his guest, and one cannot compete with one'sown personal friend. At least I do not think it a prudent or asensible thing for a guest to challenge his host's family at any game,especially when he is in a foreign country. He will cut the groundfrom under his own feet if he does; but I make no exception as regardsany one else, for I want to have the matter out and know which isthe best man. I am a good hand at every kind of athletic sport knownamong mankind. I am an excellent archer. In battle I am always thefirst to bring a man down with my arrow, no matter how many more aretaking aim at him alongside of me. Philoctetes was the only man whocould shoot better than I could when we Achaeans were before Troyand in practice. I far excel every one else in the whole world, ofthose who still eat bread upon the face of the earth, but I should notlike to shoot against the mighty dead, such as Hercules, or Eurytusthe Cechalian-men who could shoot against the gods themselves. This infact was how Eurytus came prematurely by his end, for Apollo was angrywith him and killed him because he challenged him as an archer. Ican throw a dart farther than any one else can shoot an arrow. Runningis the only point in respect of which I am afraid some of thePhaecians might beat me, for I have been brought down very low at sea;my provisions ran short, and therefore I am still weak."They all held their peace except King Alcinous, who began, "Sir,we have had much pleasure in hearing all that you have told us, fromwhich I understand that you are willing to show your prowess, ashaving been displeased with some insolent remarks that have beenmade to you by one of our athletes, and which could never have beenuttered by any one who knows how to talk with propriety. I hope youwill apprehend my meaning, and will explain to any be one of yourchief men who may be dining with yourself and your family when you gethome, that we have an hereditary aptitude for accomplishments of allkinds. We are not particularly remarkable for our boxing, nor yet aswrestlers, but we are singularly fleet of foot and are excellentsailors. We are extremely fond of good dinners, music, and dancing; wealso like frequent changes of linen, warm baths, and good beds, sonow, please, some of you who are the best dancers set about dancing,that our guest on his return home may be able to tell his friendshow much we surpass all other nations as sailors, runners, dancers,minstrels. Demodocus has left his lyre at my house, so run some one orother of you and fetch it for him."On this a servant hurried off to bring the lyre from the king'shouse, and the nine men who had been chosen as stewards stood forward.It was their business to manage everything connected with thesports, so they made the ground smooth and marked a wide space for thedancers. Presently the servant came back with Demodocus's lyre, and hetook his place in the midst of them, whereon the best young dancers inthe town began to foot and trip it so nimbly that Ulysses wasdelighted with the merry twinkling of their feet.Meanwhile the bard began to sing the loves of Mars and Venus, andhow they first began their intrigue in the house of Vulcan. Marsmade Venus many presents, and defiled King Vulcan's marriage bed, sothe sun, who saw what they were about, told Vulcan. Vulcan was veryangry when he heard such dreadful news, so he went to his smithybrooding mischief, got his great anvil into its place, and began toforge some chains which none could either unloose or break, so thatthey might stay there in that place. When he had finished his snare hewent into his bedroom and festooned the bed-posts all over with chainslike cobwebs; he also let many hang down from the great beam of theceiling. Not even a god could see them, so fine and subtle werethey. As soon as he had spread the chains all over the bed, he made asthough he were setting out for the fair state of Lemnos, which ofall places in the world was the one he was most fond of. But Mars keptno blind look out, and as soon as he saw him start, hurried off to hishouse, burning with love for Venus.Now Venus was just come in from a visit to her father Jove, andwas about sitting down when Mars came inside the house, an said ashe took her hand in his own, "Let us go to the couch of Vulcan: heis not at home, but is gone off to Lemnos among the Sintians, whosespeech is barbarous."She was nothing loth, so they went to the couch to take theirrest, whereon they were caught in the toils which cunning Vulcan hadspread for them, and could neither get up nor stir hand or foot, butfound too late that they were in a trap. Then Vulcan came up tothem, for he had turned back before reaching Lemnos, when his scoutthe sun told him what was going on. He was in a furious passion, andstood in the vestibule making a dreadful noise as he shouted to allthe gods."Father Jove," he cried, "and all you other blessed gods who livefor ever, come here and see the ridiculous and disgraceful sightthat I will show you. Jove's daughter Venus is always dishonouringme because I am lame. She is in love with Mars, who is handsome andclean built, whereas I am a cripple- but my parents are to blame forthat, not I; they ought never to have begotten me. Come and see thepair together asleep on my bed. It makes me furious to look at them.They are very fond of one another, but I do not think they will liethere longer than they can help, nor do I think that they will sleepmuch; there, however, they shall stay till her father has repaid methe sum I gave him for his baggage of a daughter, who is fair butnot honest."On this the gods gathered to the house of Vulcan. Earth-encirclingNeptune came, and Mercury the bringer of luck, and King Apollo, butthe goddesses stayed at home all of them for shame. Then the givers ofall good things stood in the doorway, and the blessed gods roared withinextinguishable laughter, as they saw how cunning Vulcan had been,whereon one would turn towards his neighbour saying:"Ill deeds do not prosper, and the weak confound the strong. See howlimping Vulcan, lame as he is, has caught Mars who is the fleetest godin heaven; and now Mars will be cast in heavy damages."Thus did they converse, but King Apollo said to Mercury,"Messenger Mercury, giver of good things, you would not care howstrong the chains were, would you, if you could sleep with Venus?""King Apollo," answered Mercury, "I only wish I might get thechance, though there were three times as many chains- and you mightlook on, all of you, gods and goddesses, but would sleep with her if Icould."The immortal gods burst out laughing as they heard him, butNeptune took it all seriously, and kept on imploring Vulcan to setMars free again. "Let him go," he cried, "and I will undertake, as yourequire, that he shall pay you all the damages that are heldreasonable among the immortal gods.""Do not," replied Vulcan, "ask me to do this; a bad man's bond isbad security; what remedy could I enforce against you if Mars shouldgo away and leave his debts behind him along with his chains?""Vulcan," said Neptune, "if Mars goes away without paying hisdamages, I will pay you myself." So Vulcan answered, "In this case Icannot and must not refuse you."Thereon he loosed the bonds that bound them, and as soon as theywere free they scampered off, Mars to Thrace and laughter-loving Venusto Cyprus and to Paphos, where is her grove and her altar fragrantwith burnt offerings. Here the Graces hathed her, and anointed herwith oil of ambrosia such as the immortal gods make use of, and theyclothed her in raiment of the most enchanting beauty.Thus sang the bard, and both Ulysses and the seafaring Phaeacianswere charmed as they heard him.Then Alcinous told Laodamas and Halius to dance alone, for there wasno one to compete with them. So they took a red ball which Polybus hadmade for them, and one of them bent himself backwards and threw itup towards the clouds, while the other jumped from off the groundand caught it with ease before it came down again. When they haddone throwing the ball straight up into the air they began to dance,and at the same time kept on throwing it backwards and forwards to oneanother, while all the young men in the ring applauded and made agreat stamping with their feet. Then Ulysses said:"King Alcinous, you said your people were the nimblest dancers inthe world, and indeed they have proved themselves to be so. I wasastonished as I saw them."The king was delighted at this, and exclaimed to the Phaecians"Aldermen and town councillors, our guest seems to be a person ofsingular judgement; let us give him such proof of our hospitality ashe may reasonably expect. There are twelve chief men among you, andcounting myself there are thirteen; contribute, each of you, a cleancloak, a shirt, and a talent of fine gold; let us give him all this ina lump down at once, so that when he gets his supper he may do so witha light heart. As for Euryalus he will have to make a formal apology